Showing posts with label trust. Show all posts
Showing posts with label trust. Show all posts

Saturday, 19 February 2022

The Pandemic & The Influence of "Nation!"

 First things first: this is heavily borrowed from a piece by Fintan O'Toole of the Irish Times,

However, I sensed it captured some ideas that have been churning around with me for a while, so please bear with my self confessed plagarism. 


Briefly, what can we learn from the last two pandemic years that might throw some light

on our future paths and for each "big point" is there a regional, local and community message?

Do we go it alone or work with others?

The UK's go it alone stance appeared to have  leaned heavily into an assumed sense of National Identity: British Values etc. But was this really the case.

The effectiveness of the vaccine roll out has been seen to be a product of an isolated approach, however its there a different story beneath the headline and if so, what is it?





Racial Stereotypes Breed Poor Policy

A list that for me began with the Prime Minister stating on national TV something along the lines of,it was "An Englishman's right to go to the pub" Only to close them a week or so later. What assumptions were made about the lifestyles and behaviours, the cultural, social binding rituals that are ignored at our collective peril. There was a wider and more disturbing element toomone that sought to appropriate blame and marginalise.I wonder how keenly this was felt and what the longer term echoes will sound like?

   


Older People = "Out of Sight, Out of Mind"

Whether in care home, at home or admitted to hospital, older people had a rough, rough deal.This observation does not in any way reflect on the outstanding efforts of carers, familiesand communities. It is intended to draw attention to a national position that presented itselfas hand wringing on a grand scale and to no avail!


Gross Inequality is A Deadly (National) Virus

Death rates, infection rates, hospitalisation rates\; you choose.None if it looks good when we consider how we look after whole sections of societywhere the combined impacts of inequality do most damage and continue to do so

.

Fake News is Deadly

..and has fed dangerous assumptions and alignments regarding the virus and other non-related issuesthat have made their way into what has become dangerously normal and with dangerous outcomes.The unbelievable is now believed and dissenters are not to be trusted!



 

Tuesday, 29 November 2016

Building Trust Piece By Piece!

How much complexity is the result of a collapse of trust and how confused and over wrought do things get because people don't trust each other?

We deliver facilitated approaches to sometimes complex situations and amongst the familiar themes the Collapse of Trust holds a significant position. 

There's a continuum of emergent dysfunction shown below and I wouldn't want to comment about its relevance to our personal lives!
It does however occupy a significant and interesting space in the working environment.


We know and understand from our practice that work and productivity become blocked and stymied by the absence of trust, beginning at the lower left side of the continuum, with multiple stop-off points that are context specific. They are the often "invisible predictors" of failure through absence of harmony that end with a collapse of workable emotional capital at the upper-right end of the continuum.


We achieve very little on our own and reliable, performing teams are ones that help each other. Lego is a successful company and its CEO has communicated a simple message along the lines of

"You won't be blamed for failure, you will be blamed for failing to ask for help or to give help when it was needed"

Now, I don't know about you but it's unlikely that I'll ask people who I don't trust to help me-I wouldn't want to be vulnerable to their next actions. But, if I feel that way I have to accept that people who don't trust me are unlikely to ask me for help. This situation is lose/lose and stuck.When we are either helped or helpers we give an opportunity to re-frame trust and in so doing open a very different relationship with our colleagues.

We are introducing the concept of trust building in a transparent and open manner into much of our mediation and facilitation work. We are pragmatic and understand that sometimes 

"Fixed enough has to be enough"

We remain clear in our belief that it remains difficult to reach and maintain the above point where there is no trust. So, wherever the end point, trust is an essential component of the energy and motivation that takes us there.

Here's a self check list-change it around a little and you can come up with an idea about how much/little you trust a colleague

  1. How much/often do my actions align with my words?
  2.  Do I do what I say I will do? Am I reliable?
  3. Am I up to the task/job/role? Do my competences and interactions support my intentions and the expectations of others?
  4. Do I care? Do I have the interests of others in mind as well as my own and how do they know?
Feel free to get in get in touch to explore how we might help you develop higher levels of trust in your workplace and free-up some powerful co-operation!

You can contact us on jpd@dy3solutions.mygbiz.com. 







http://www.dy-3solutions.co.uk 






Tuesday, 31 May 2016

Trust. What Do You See, the Doughnut or The Hole?



If we ask the question

 "What must a team have to perform well?"

 I'm going to suggest that "Trust" will appear fairly high up the list.


We need also to incorporate "Optimism"-that the Team's purpose is a good one and that it honours

Our individual values
Team Values
Organisational Values

And we need to know that we're doing the right things for the right reasons.


Unfortunately, trust and optimism are easily manipulated to serve individual needs and ambitions. There are after all ample opportunities for some to pay lip service only to the idea of serving core values. Some organisations have set out to define what it is they mean by trust and integrity and their importance in shaping the expectations and experiences of their partners and stakeholders.



However, the building and maintenance of high quality internal trust is much harder than presenting positive external messages. The impact of hidden untrustworthiness on teams is destructive and will progressively annihilate purposeful alignments made by other team members. The manipulation or abandonment of trust reduces the chances of group success. The focus shifts to looking for what's not working rather than what is and members are vulnerable to becoming risk averse rather than risk aware as there is a reduction in their faith in others to support them when the going gets tough. Teams form within teams, individuals consider "What's in this for me?" rather than "How does this serve our group?" When this is the emergent case, expect the group/team purpose, to lose energy and to toxify: it's a great way of developing an 

"Optimism Free Zone"
(Oh yes, I'd love to work in one of those!)

Maybe you could propose to teams that they might want to consider something along the lines of:


"It is agreed that trust and integrity are essential components of a healthy, well-functioning team. How do we honour our commitment to trust? How will we talk about it and how will we challenge ourselves and each other when we feel trust has been compromised?"

Expect some interesting and thought provoking responses! 







Thursday, 14 January 2016

Do You Listen Well Enough To Build Trust?

Here's the second in our series of posts about trust and its role in improving and developing communication. Before we continue, I'd like you to consider how you feel when you know you are not being listened to? It's a complete turn off isn't it ?

Here are Twenty One Ways to “Up Your Listening Game!”




1. Focus on what’s being said and switch you inner thoughts off. This is a great skill to acquire and use: it creates space for you to really take in what is being said without “scripting the next thing you want to say” as you do.

2. Stay switched on and you can do this by not mentally planning what to say next. This follows on from the above: when we’re planning our response we’re not listening-and it shows!

3. We are often tempted to label people on the basis of what they've said-this will get in the way of good listening . Who people remind you of, the way you've responded to this sort of thing in the past can get in the way of good listening.  So can “negative bias”, it is part of  above: because we've associated words used or the way in which they are said with our negative images, we donate the associations to the person we’re now with.
  

4. Suspend your existing knowledge of and beliefs about the person to whom you are listening because of you don’t, you’ll be listening to yourself affirming what you believed before the conversation started. This cuts down on the chances of you hearing the message in the context in which it is delivered. Without this you can limit your capacity to accept that people are open to new ideas and might want to change. 


5. Interruptions don’t help!  Honestly, they don’t.  Give some thought to how you feel when you’re interrupted…. 


6. Let the other person develop their train of thought. Not always easy but always valuable. We sometimes have to create time, space and cues for this to happen. 


7. Keep the eye contact in place and not too intense-it sends out all the wrong signals-honestly! Over focusing on the eyes is, generally speaking either about attraction or aggression. You can triangulate your gaze between the upper eyes and above the chin of the person with whom you are in conversation. 

8. Good non-verbal attention matters. We can think about how people express themselves with their hands.  We can be on the lookout for fidgeting, looking away, looking downwards and inwards.

9. If someone’s body language has changed, it’s for a reason-be aware, it can help you to frame a helpful question/suggestion. It shows that you are building rapport
  •  “I wonder if I could (ask you a question/suggest?) is a good way of re-engaging when you've picked up on a change followed up by
  •  “Tell me where you are with this right now?”

10. External distractions are just that. They are external and distracting. (We’re not including unscheduled fire alarms here)


11. Avoid sticking your own labels on already crowded surfaces; “Well, what can you expect from….”Keep open and focused.




12. There is a place for preaching and it’s not here!


13. If you’re coming up with a diagnosis, you’re probably not listening to the patient! a. Given time and space, the speaking and listening process increases the speakers opportunity to discover what needs to change/ be done.


14. Clichés have their place and role-they can appear to close off discussion and leave people feeling unheard and sometimes patronised


15. Other concerns and worries are just that-they are never irrelevant . They form part of the person's day to day experience of life

16. No matter how tempting, there are times when telling people that “It’s not worth bothering about” it trivializes their concerns and may inhibit their confidence in expressing themselves . If it matters, it matters! We can ask questions along the lines of “How important do you think this will be in ……… (days/week/months etc..) We shouldn't however underplay the significance of concerns to the person who is affected by them.


17. False re-assurance is unhelpful, particularly if you’re in no position to legitimately offer it. “Oh don’t worry, that’ll never happen” is only valid if you are the person who was going to make “it” happen and have decided not to!  Otherwise we need to consider the points raised in 16 above.  We need too to be aware of our credibility given that we might not have the fullest of pictures of the day to day challenges and experiences of the person we are working with.


18. Show patience-use para verbals  when people are taking time to develop their points . We use them nearly all of the time!


19. Collusion with the unacceptable is unacceptable. We present ourselves as positive role models. It is a standard that we must not let slip: our credibility goes with it!


20. Accept that there are occasions when you may have to work quite hard to truly understand how people feel. a. Understanding the day-to day experiences, ambitions and challenges of others is hard going. However, we meet our colleagues “Where they are.” We need to accept that isn't where we would like them to be!


21. Accept that there are times when you won’t understand how other people feel-offer them an affirmation “I can tell how strongly you feel about that.” It gives them an option to further explain and, should they not wish to so do, it’s a positive way of exiting the impasse. 


If you'd like to find out more about the work we do on developing Trust and Building you can talk to us on 07984409937 or by email jpd@dy3solutions.mygbiz.com. 


Tuesday, 12 January 2016

Do You Communicate "Trust" Because You Merit Trustworthiness?

Trust

 "A firm belief in the reliability of truth, or ability of someone to do something"








Trust: maybe it's one of those concepts that is easier to feel and experience than to describe. An elusive commodity that's hard to gain and easy to lose, its absence is easily recognisable and keenly felt. So, how much time do we devote to considering how we present ourselves in a manner that communicates trustworthiness?

We need to be clear about our motives for wanting trust. Isn't the strength of every huckster and con-artist the ability to build acceptance and belief? At a much more sinister and serious level, targets of abuse are "groomed in order to trust" thus building an increase in compliance and a decrease in resistance.

We have available to us a number of devices and props that enable us to project an image of potential trustworthiness. The right smart-phone, appearance and mannerisms that reinforce our sometimes dangerous preconceived images of the pieces of the puzzle that says "trust me" all contribute to the seemingly capricious nature of trust.






"False must hide what false heart doth know" 

Macbeth.. Act 1: . Macbeth has finally been convinced that he should kill the King-the King (who trusts him..)

Maybe we are right to hold back on trust and to be suspicious of those who seem to over-work a "You can trust me" message. our evolutionary success is after all partly attributable to a default position that is watchful and wary.

So how as we connect with others:

  • Do we build trust and in so doing become the stewards of our own trustworthiness?
  • Maintain stewardship of our organisational values at in a variety of groups, sub groups and informal exchanges?
  • Should our commitment to trust building might be based on a sense of personal authenticity that is enacted in our dealings with others?
We are going to follow up this article with some ideas around how we can encourage communication that supports trust building and the stewardship of values: it would be great to hear your comments and observations.

We are happy to talk to you about how our work might help you and your colleagues identify how you develop trust as individuals, groups and teams. Contact us jpd@dy3solutions.mygbiz.com or by calling us on 07984409937

Wednesday, 8 July 2015

Here Are 4 Ideas About A Coaching Relationship that Empowers Teams:

Idea 1

It’s okay for teams to struggle. From struggle comes learning. And teams that have gone through difficult moments build resilience and a deep sense of community. The coach’s role therefore is not to prevent foreseeable problems, but to support teams in solving them (and later help them reflect on how they've grown in the process)

Idea 2

  The coach’s role is to let teams make their own choices, even if (s)he believes (s)he knows a better solution. 

Idea 3



     The coach supports the team mostly by asking insightful questions and mirroring what is seen. (S)He helps teams frame issues and solutions in light of the Team’s purpose.


Idea 4

The starting point is always to look for enthusiasm, strengths, and existing capabilities within the team. The coach projects trust that the team has all it takes to solve the problems it faces.

  If you'd like to find out more about our approaches to developing teams and how we might be able to help you, contact us on 07984409937 or by email jpd@dy3solutions.mygbiz.com




Wednesday, 28 January 2015

A Safeguarding Issue To Consider

Safeguarding related work features in our profile and does not feature regularly in our blogs. However we feel it essential that we look at the issues surrounding a Deputy Head Teacher who was convicted of having sex with a 16 year old pupil.
This has been prepared by one of our team whose background incorporates a law degree and several related professional dimensions to his work.




Last week we happened across two news articles talking about the trial of Stuart Kerner. Kerner is a deputy head teacher who was convicted of having sex with a child, a girl of 16 years old. From the words used in the court, it is strongly suggested that the girl made advances towards him, and that he gave in to temptation.[1] He was given a non-custodial sentence for two counts of sexual activity with a child by a person in a position of trust.

The question we ask here is, given the clear breach of the law and the gravity of the situation, how was this allowed to happen? We will examine the following areas:
  • The law that governs this type of offence
  • The safeguarding ramifications
  • The prominent culture on blaming the victim
  • The reduction of the perpetrator’s responsibility.

The Law

The law that governs this particular offence is the Sexual Offences (Amendment) act 2000.[2] Section 3(1): “… it shall be an offence for a person aged 18 or over—

(a)to have sexual intercourse (whether vaginal or anal) with a person under that age; or

(b)to engage in any other sexual activity with or directed towards such a person,

if (in either case) he is in a position of trust in relation to that person.”

The sentence for committing this offence – and the punishment we therefore might reasonably expect Kerner to have received – is in Section 3(4): “A person guilty of an offence under this section shall be liable—

(a)on summary conviction, to imprisonment for a term not exceeding six months, or to a fine not exceeding the statutory maximum, or to both;

(b)on conviction on indictment, to imprisonment for a term not exceeding five years, or to a fine, or to both.

Given that Kerner was neither given a custodial sentence nor fined, there is a disparity between the crime he has committed and the punishment received.

Safeguarding Children

When somebody in a prominent position of responsibility has sex with a 16-year-old girl, there is a clear safeguarding issue. It is very unlikely that Kerner didn’t know that what he was doing was wrong. This has not been challenged in the articles, but is mentioned here to clarify the legal position. Safeguarding training is a matter of course of all teachers now, and this includes provisions on dealing with infatuations. Schools have designated people with responsibility for safeguarding: Usually the head teacher if it’s a primary school, and a member of the senior management team in a secondary school. Kerner may have been in a position to have responsibility for safeguarding; he might even have delivered the training himself. It is inconceivable that he wouldn’t have known that the act of sex with a student was wrong, the consequences of being discovered, and that the correct thing to do would have been to report it as a safeguarding concern while discreetly maintaining the dignity of all the people involved.

Victim Blaming

In this case, there has been a disturbing climate of blaming the victim for the crime. Judge Joanna Greenberg QC said that the girl targeted Kerner at an “emotionally vulnerable” time. She was also quoted to have justified her decision by saying of the victim: “If grooming is the right word to use, it was she who groomed you, [and] you gave in to temptation.”[3] If there is any truth in this, it does not diminish the fact that Kerner has broken the law, and is indisputably the perpetrator of the crime. And yet, for these reasons, he has a non-custodial sentence.

In Gaby Hinsliff’s article, she also says that the girl was described by the judge as ‘“vulnerable and needy [with] a troubled home life”; she had a history of attention-seeking behaviour, including pretending to have been in an accident.[4]’ She compares this to similarly described girls who were singled out and targeted for abuse by gangs of older men in Rotherham and Rochdale, where in those cases the authorities were condemned for failing to aid those girls from troubled backgrounds. This is a stark contrast to the suspended sentence given to a deputy head who “fails to see something unhealthy in a troubled 16-year-old’s adoration.”[5] Why was the perpetrator, in this case, not dealt with in a similar way?

Julie Bindel’s article highlights this situation in a climate of victim-blaming culture that has been around since the 1980’s[6]. Arguably, the culture has been going on for even longer; Bindel’s examples begin in the 80’s and end with her most recent example of Bob Bellew in April 2014. She appears to suggest that the culture of blaming the victim is nothing new, and the fact that the case of Stuart Kerner was decided by a female judge apparently did very little to break the trend.

Bindel has been criticised for this point by some of the people who read the article, as the examples she gives are of rape, sexual abuse and sexual assault – none of which are the specific offence that Kerner has been convicted for. She is also criticised for failing to recognise that the judge would have reached her decision by examining the facts of the case, and deciding it on their merits. On the former criticism, we would argue that in all of those situations, there is a culture of blaming the victim, and there are many cases every year where this happens. On the latter, while we recognise that the judge decided the case on its merits, we would still challenge the disparity between the nature of the crime and the sentence received.

Reducing Responsibility for the Perpetrator

Judge Greenberg commented that it was an “emotionally vulnerable” time for Stuart Kerner.[7] The emotional vulnerability she refers to is that Kerner’s wife had a difficult pregnancy, and had miscarried on the week he had sex with his student.

This is a situation where the judgement was made on the merits of the case, and Judge Greenberg is within her rights to reduce the sentence on whatever grounds she wishes – paying heed to the possibility that she may be challenged on it.[8] Her opinion gives rise to the notion that it was the student who groomed Kerner – despite the fact that the student could not legally do so, and despite Kerner’s breach of both the law and his responsibility as a teacher.

Conclusion

It is a solid fact that Stuart Kerner was in clear breach of the law and his responsibility. It is less clear how Joanna Greenberg QC arrived at the conclusion that his student had groomed him. While she recognises that Kerner failed to act with the responsibly and restraint expect of him, she has received harsh criticism for the sentence being too lenient, and her judgement appears to be blaming the victim for the crime.

This highlights the wider issue of how the legal system perceives and deals with cases such as this. Too often, there is an ill-proportioned amount of blame and responsibility put on the victims of sex crimes, and not enough consideration for the fact that the perpetrators have broken the law. This creates an environment where the laws designed to protect people from sex crimes can be creatively interpreted, poorly applied and in some cases almost completely ignored. How, then, can it be said that the law protects victims of such crimes?

The situation with Stuart Kerner ought to serve as a cautionary tale. His student appears to have conducted herself in a manner that was conducive to Kerner committing the crime – yet the law says that the responsibility for her safety and his actions fall squarely on Kerner’s shoulders. Having avoided a custodial sentence, and being on a suspended sentence for eighteen months, we might wonder if anything has been learned from this at all.



Footnote:

After some research, we have not been able to find any information relating to how Bexleyheath Academy – Kerner’s former school – handled the matter. All we can say for certain at this time is that Kerner was charged in August 2013 during the summer holidays.[9]



[9] http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-23551353