Do You Communicate "Trust" Because You Merit Trustworthiness?

Trust

 "A firm belief in the reliability of truth, or ability of someone to do something"

Trust: maybe it's one of those concepts that is easier to feel and experience than to describe. An elusive commodity that's hard to gain and easy to lose, its absence is easily recognisable and keenly felt. So, how much time do we devote to considering how we present ourselves in a manner that communicates trustworthiness?

We need to be clear about our motives for wanting trust. Isn't the strength of every huckster and con-artist the ability to build acceptance and belief? At a much more sinister and serious level, targets of abuse are "groomed in order to trust" thus building an increase in compliance and a decrease in resistance.

We have available to us a number of devices and props that enable us to project an image of potential trustworthiness. The right smart-phone, appearance and mannerisms that reinforce our sometimes dangerous preconceived images of the pieces of the puzzle that says "trust me" all contribute to the seemingly capricious nature of trust.

"False must hide what false heart doth know" 

Macbeth.. Act 1: . Macbeth has finally been convinced that he should kill the King-the King (who trusts him..)

Maybe we are right to hold back on trust and to be suspicious of those who seem to over-work a "You can trust me" message. our evolutionary success is after all partly attributable to a default position that is watchful and wary.

So how as we connect with others:

• Do we build trust and in so doing become the stewards of our own trustworthiness?
• Maintain stewardship of our organisational values at in a variety of groups, sub groups and informal exchanges?
• Should our commitment to trust building might be based on a sense of personal authenticity that is enacted in our dealings with others?

We are going to follow up this article with some ideas around how we can encourage communication that supports trust building and the stewardship of values: it would be great to hear your comments and observations.

We are happy to talk to you about how our work might help you and your colleagues identify how you develop trust as individuals, groups and teams. Contact us jpd@dy3solutions.mygbiz.com or by calling us on 07984409937

How Would You Discuss The Power of Relationship Abuse as A Work Place Issue?

If you've been in a shared space with 15 people today, there's a good chance that 3 or 4 of them will have experienced Domestic Violence/Relationship Abuse. 

Surprised? Don't be. There are some truly shocking statistics that tell of the cost of Domestic Violence/Relationship Abuse to the individual, to society and employer.

The targets of Domestic Violence will have been abused:

• Sexually
• Physically
• Emotionally
• Psychologically
• Economically

They will have been assaulted and controlled by partners over a sustained period. 

A client has asked us to deliver a piece of Customer Care Development for a team of 15 members of support staff. Our discussions helped us to design a programme that delivers an event where Customer Care is addressed through the following 3 Themes.

1. Safeguarding
2. Domestic Violence/Relationship Abuse
3. Mediation/Conflict Resolution

This novel approach means that the organisation's Service Users will receive a meaningful event that looks at Customer Care as a process that honours high ethical values and places the client at the centre of actions and decision making. Not only is this the right thing to do but it also makes sound financial sense in creating a life-time relationship between the organisation and its customers. One that is based on feelings and engagement that go beyond the traditional understanding of "service"

New Developments: Updating our materials required that we look at proposed changes/developments in the Law that address Coercive & Controlling Behaviour. Here's What We Found

New Domestic Violence Law:

Key Facts

• The announcement by the Home Secretary Theresa May is that there will be a new domestic abuse offence of: “Coercive and Controlling Behaviour.”
• Maximum penalty: 5 years imprisonment and a fine.[1]
• New law is designed to protect victims by outlawing sustained patterns of domestic abuse that stop short of serious physical violence, but amount to extreme psychological and emotional abuse.
• According to the Telegraph, there will be no statutory time limit for the offences, which means that abuse dating back years can be taken into account.[2] (This was not on the official press statement, so this may not be true.)

• Coercive and controlling behaviour can include:
• Preventing the victim from having friendships or hobbies,
• Refusing them access to money
• Controlling everyday aspects of their life such as when they are allowed to eat, sleep and go to the toilet.

• A number of ways that witness testimony could be supported at prosecution:
• Documentary evidence: Threatening emails or text messages
• Bank statements that show the perpetrator has sought to control the victim financially.

• The new law will be introduced as a series of amendments to the Serious Crime Bill, currently going through the House of Lords, and is expected to be on the statute books in the New Year.[3]

Observations

• This change to the law is being made in response to a consultation over the summer (2014.) It has been welcomed by Polly Neate (Chief executive of Women’s Aid,) Rhea Gargour and Antonia Packard (Sara Charlton Charitable Foundation) and Laura Richards (Chief Executive of Paladin.)
• It has been observed by victims that the Coercive and Controlling behaviour - from which the new law seeks to protect them - is in many ways the worst part of the abuse, as opposed to the physical violence.
• There is something in that, as there is not currently a specific offence for controlling behaviour. Such law that currently exists to protect people from domestic abuse focuses on breach of a restraining order, damaging property, assault, burglary, rape, kidnapping and murder. This does not describe the essence of domestic abuse.[4]
• However it is important to remember that this new offence is not law yet, as the amendments to the Serious Crime Bill have not yet been made.
• Efforts should therefore be made to monitor the amendments to the bill, so that it is fully understood exactly what counts as the offence, the penalty and whether the offences can be retroactive.

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[1] http://paladinservice.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/Home-Office-Press-Office.pdf accessed 4/1/2015

[2] http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/law-and-order/11244275/New-domestic-violence-law-will-outlaw-coercive-control.html accessed 4/1/2015

[3] http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/law-and-order/11244275/New-domestic-violence-law-will-outlaw-coercive-control.html accessed 4/1/2015

[4] http://paladinservice.co.uk/harassment-legislation/domestic-violence-campaign/ accessed 4/1/2015

What to do next

We can provide training and development for your teams. 

Contact us on 0121 602 7191/07984409937 or by email jpd@dy3solutions.mygbiz.com

We're here to Discuss, Design and Deliver a programme for you and your colleagues.