Saturday 3 June 2017

Impostor Syndrome-The Dark Mirror!

I met up with a colleague for coffee. It was a “getting to know you better”’ meeting that is part of building quality relationships with people. I want to mention here and before I go on that this is a key part of developing powerful relationships. If you meet people with the sole intention of “selling at them” you need to prepare yourself for a lonely existence!

Now, my colleague is successful; he has developed and grown a business and is liked, trusted and sought after. Half way down my first Americano, he told me that he worried (and I mean ‘keep you awake at night’ worried) about being found out, wanting.

We talked a little longer and by Americano no.2 we’d established the reality of his situation – that things are positive, healthy and vibrant for him. Having come to this conclusion it felt only right to acquaint my partner in caffeine with what is called the Impostor Syndrome.

In the broadest of terms, Impostor Syndrome is a feeling of:

-       I’m not up to this
-       I will be found out
-       I am not worthy of this
-       There are better people than me

…I am sure you get the picture!

We talked our way through another high quality coffee and agreed the following plan:

He’d reflect on things
He’d share his thoughts with someone close to him
In this conversation he would be honest, open, candid
We’d meet again and if necessary put some actions in place
Next time, he buys the coffee!

After doing exactly that, the result was a relaxed, future focused and positive client! Great news for him and his family.

For me, I have the satisfaction of shifting a self-limiting belief, helping to free up some thinking as well as knowing that the only thing that might keep my colleague awake now is a coffee induced insomnia.

If you recognise the Impostor Syndrome within yourself or someone you know and want to have a chat about this or are interested in any other aspect of our work them please get in touch on 07984 409937 or email us at