McGraw’s Laws
Background: Phil McGraw is a Psychologist + Celebrity Coach. He identifies 10
“laws of life” claiming that if you practice all 10 your success is
guaranteed. Fail to practice just one and you can be “left in the dust”
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LAW
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MEANING
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RELEVANCE
TO US
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1. Either you get it or you
don’t
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Insight
doesn’t slowly evolve, it leaps
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We can change now. So can our coachees and our customers. If you believe these
things take lots of time it will.
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2. You create your own
experience
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What is
happening to you now tends to be a result of something you have done or are
doing
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While
we blame others we will never self-diagnose. Keep looking for your role in producing the results
you are getting. You are not a victim, you have choice
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3. People do what works
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People
repeat behaviours that reward them in some way
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To
change any behaviour you must first identify the “payoff” then stop the
payoff.
You
cannot change your own negative behaviour without understanding why you do it in the first place
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4. You can’t change what you
don’t acknowledge
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Solving
a problem depends on acknowledging it in the first place.
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What
you do not acknowledge is going to get worse until you do
Don’t spend time on problems that
people do not admit to.
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5. Life rewards action
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No one
cares about your intentions only what you do.
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Until
someone commits to an action nothing will change
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6. There is no reality only
perception
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“People
knowledge” is based on opinion and so cannot be objective
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Accept others
opinion of you. If you don’t like it, ask yourself how you contributed to it and how you can change it.
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7. Life is managed not cured
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Don’t
expect something or someone to sort your problems once and for all Challenge
is a constant
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How
often do we hear “if only I had x everything would be OK”
Real
change involves adopting new and permanent
strategies.
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8 We teach people how to treat
us
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If
someone treats us a certain way it is because we are rewarding that behaviour
by how we respond to it
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Identify
the payoff we are giving that person and
then stop the payoff
We can
re-teach people –after all, we taught them in the first place
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9. There is power in forgiveness
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If you
hold a grudge against someone it hurts you not them
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See it
as a learning experience and learn to forgive
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10. You have to name it to claim
it
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To
achieve a goal you must first create one.
Do it
properly.
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Not
knowing precisely what you want is not
OK.
Learn
to state specifically what you want and why you want it
Have a
plan or you’ll be a part of someone else’s
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Monday 15 September 2014
How Many Do You Get? McGraw's Laws.
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