Have You Ever Wanted Something You Didn't Really Want?

There's a view (and it's a lop-sided one) of compromise that it's about

"By and large, getting what you want." 

And whereas this might in some cases be true, compromise is also about 

"Getting or keeping something you didn't want."

As mediators we often find that our work is more akin to conflict resolution that might or might not require a formal mediation. Sometimes we need to adopt a different approach, one that is based on a really useful and well researched model which asks us to think about our individual and preferred approaches to conflict: here we go!

• Competing:           "I win, end of story" 
• Avoiding:              "Just what is says-I avoid conflict -sometimes at my                                  own cost"
• Accommodating:    Learn to live with it."
• Compromise:         "We're going to have to accept something we don't                                   want in order to get to a place where we can achieve                                 what it is we do want"
• Collaborating:       "We're going to have to work through this in an                                          organised and structured way"

We're going to expand on these over the next few weeks. In the meantime, we'd love to hear from you if you feel we can help!

Call us 07984409937

email   jpd@dy3solutions.mygbiz.com

Seeking The 18th Camel

                                             
We are often involved in "stuck situations", not the best piece of English in the world but it captures perfectly what is going on. Whether as individuals or as members of groups we can sometimes lose sight of the fact that there's "more to life" and that's because "issues" (whatever they are!) become problems that in their turn grow into deeply engrained responses that are toxic and destructive.

Desirable as it might seem the wisdom associated with "When you're in a hole, stop digging," seems to be one of the first escapees from the increasingly locked in behaviours.

We sometimes have to find ways of introducing some new thinking to free up the existing dialogue. Compromise is fine but it has to be remembered, as much a compromise will give you something you want, it will also require you to accept something you don't want! 

A shared solution works best, particularly when as in the clip, those involved feel that their individual wants and needs have been met.

These are the types of outcomes we work hard to achieve, they're also the one that "stick best".