Here Are 4 Ideas About A Coaching Relationship that Empowers Teams:

Idea 1

It’s okay for teams to struggle. From struggle comes learning. And teams that have gone through difficult moments build resilience and a deep sense of community. The coach’s role therefore is not to prevent foreseeable problems, but to support teams in solving them (and later help them reflect on how they've grown in the process). 

Idea 2

  The coach’s role is to let teams make their own choices, even if (s)he believes (s)he knows a better solution. 

Idea 3

     The coach supports the team mostly by asking insightful questions and mirroring what is seen. (S)He helps teams frame issues and solutions in light of the Team’s purpose.

Idea 4

The starting point is always to look for enthusiasm, strengths, and existing capabilities within the team. The coach projects trust that the team has all it takes to solve the problems it faces.

  If you'd like to find out more about our approaches to developing teams and how we might be able to help you, contact us on 07984409937 or by email jpd@dy3solutions.mygbiz.com

Do you suffer from Imposter Syndrome?

I recently met up with a colleague for coffee. It was a “getting to know you better”’ meeting that is part of building quality relationships with people. I want to mention here and before I go on that this is a key part of developing powerful networks. If you meet people with the sole intention of “selling at them” you need to prepare yourself for a lonely existence!

Now, my colleague is successful; he has developed and grown a business and is liked, trusted and sought after. Half way down my first Americano, he told me that he worried (and I mean ‘keep you awake at night’ worried) about being found out, wanting.

We talked a little longer and by Americano no.2 we’d established the reality of his situation – that things are positive, healthy and vibrant for him. Having come to this conclusion it felt only right to acquaint my partner in caffeine with what is called the Imposter Syndrome.

In the broadest of terms, Imposter Syndrome is a feeling of:

-       I’m not up to this

-       I will be found out

-       I am not worthy of this

-       There are better people than me

…I am sure you get the picture!

We talked our way through another high quality coffee and agreed the following plan:

1.    He’d reflect on things

2.    He’d share his thoughts with someone close to him

3.    We’d meet again and if necessary put some actions in place

After doing exactly that, the result was a relaxed, future focussed and positive client! Great news for him and his family.

For me, I have the satisfaction of shifting a self-limiting belief, helping to free up some thinking as well as knowing that the only thing that might keep my colleague awake now is a coffee induced insomnia.

If you recognise the Imposter Syndrome within yourself and want to have a chat about this or are interested in any other aspect of our work them please get in touch on 07984 409937 or email us at jpd@dy3solutions.mygbiz.com. 

Have Your Intentions to Evaluate Others Made You Re-Evaluate Yourself?

After some discussion we were invited to evaluate an event called Deaffest . It's an annual celebration of Deaf Culture with an emphasis on creating Film and Arts events. It oversees and awards process and is like all of us, progressing into the rapidly shifting world of Multi-Media. It takes place at The Light House in Wolverhampton, a superbly restored building that has been part of the process since it began in 2006

and without giving too much away-the Lighthouse is spoken of with great fondness by the people we talked with.

Our evaluation process is about so much more than ticking boxes. With its roots in the philosophy of Appreciative Inquiry we have constructed a question led approach that allows people to "Build their story through a conversation," rather than respond to a series of questions and prompts that don't always reach as far as we would like them to, 

There was a fantastic vibe about the place and beyond-some of which is the outcome of a powerful partnership with Wolverhampton University who sponsor the event and provided a number of Trainee Interpreters. The Theatre venue was provided by Arena Theatre and was the focus of some powerful and thought-provoking work. 

Throughout the event there existed feelings of acceptance, pride and openness communicated through the arts. Our evaluation will refer to a powerful conversation with a deaf actor who talked with great passion about the possibilities presented by combined hearing/non-hearing theatre workshops. 

Tall Stories!

The event led me towards some significant self reflection around what really matters in a world of often conflicting priorities: our emergent evaluation has begun to consider the Social/Emotional value of the event and we will develop this further. Most importantly it must capture the spirited "outward facing inwardly proud" deaf community that provides the most powerful alchemy to the process. It is they who bring the "Soul of Deaffest" into life and being!

How asking 4 questions can make a huge difference to your life

I’m often asked about by clients and colleagues alike about what the secret is to helping people achieve something that matters to them. What I’ve found is that we sometimes have to assist our clients in understanding the powerful importance of their proposed decision and to do this we need to ask 4 questions:

1.    What will happen if I do?

2.    What will happen if I don’t?

3.    What won’t happen if I do?

4.    What won’t happen if I don’t?

Easy eh? No! Well, the first two are but then it gets complicated as we start to deal with negatives in Q3 and double negatives in Q4.

So how does it work in practice? Here’s a relatively easy example from working with a valued client who was exploring some work-life balance issues and wondering whether to address them. In answer to the above questions my client put the following:

Question 1 - If I do:

-       I’ll have a much clearer idea of what needs to change

-       I’ll be able to identify some quality time to spend with my family and friends

Question 2 - If I don’t:

-       The situation will continue as it is or it could get worse

-       There are unspoken tensions that will emerge from home

-       I won’t have the time to tell my family and to show them how much I really care

-       I’ll stay on this treadmill 

Question 3 – What won’t happen if I do:

-       I won’t continue to feel out of control

-       I won’t resent the time I spend at work

-       I won’t feel so tired all the time

Question 4 – What won’t happen if I don’t:

-       I won’t have the level of happiness I feel I need

-       I won’t feel as valued by my family

-       Be seen as having the strength of character to take some control over events

-       I won’t have the satisfaction of changing something for the better

Now, there are dozens of coaching themes that we can develop from the above responses and we hope you’ll agree that these four simple questions are a great way to explore what we might do and what is important to consider.

Why not give them a go yourself to see what it brings up? If you would like some guidance about how to approach this or want to have a chat about any other aspect of our work them please get in touch on 07984 409937 or email us at jpd@dy3solutions.mygbiz.com. 

Eoin's Eye.: Like All Exceptional People, She Doesn't Think She...

Eoin's Eye.: Like All Exceptional People, She Doesn't Think She...: I come from a big family and just over 20 years ago it became a lot bigger than I thought when,as an adopted person, I connected to my birth...

Are You ready for A Big Change?

Champion Jockey A.P McCoy gave an interview on BBC Breakfast today and there was one big stand out message, it was that  A.P McCoy seemed at a loss to:

• Explain how he really felt
• Talk about the future in a positive manner
• Recognise his uncertainties

And in doing so created an example of a 'Toxic Trilogy' that can hit hard when we:

• Retire
• Cut back on our work commitments
• Face redundancy and lay offs
• Are taken ill
• Need to re-arrange our lives to care for a loved one

He has retired at the pinnacle of his career - we are unlikely to ever see the like of him again. He is likely to be financially secure for the rest of his life, he has created a great legacy for his loving family, he has the adoration of the racing public and the respect of his peers. And yet this morning he had the look of a man lost in an uncertain future of the 'School Run' and........well, little more emerged today.

A.P was lost for words, or rather the words needed to say how he truly felt:  He reflected not on a career but on a powerful a self-actualising identity. It was a modest view of the world from a man who was a the top of a tree he now looks at, because from the moment of he crossed the finish line for the final time he was no longer in his secure role. The danger, the camaraderie, the excitement and the adoration - gone. I hope A.P has a some great times ahead of him and that his fantastic knowledge and talents can benefit others. I hope he is happy.

At DY 3Solutions we approach life changes in way that gives our clients an opportunity to take stock of themselves, of their achievements, of what matters to them. We enable our clients to recognise the strengths they have that might help them carry their lives forward with a sense of adventure and purpose. It's an approach that recognises uncertainty and considers how we will use our assets of character and values to anchor our confidence and open the door to new opportunities and experiences.

We can work with you, your colleagues, friends and family members and our approach can be adapted to contribute to a work exit strategy. We can't guarantee happiness, we will though, make sure that our clients have had an opportunity to consider how to approach the next stage of their lives with a positive outlook and a sense of "great things to come".

For a confidential chat about how we can help call 07984 409937 or email us on jpd@dy3solutions.mybiz.com. You can also take a look at what we do by visiting www.dy-3solutions.co.uk.

What is assertiveness?

What is assertiveness? Assertiveness is the ability to express your opinions and feelings without anxiety and in a way which does not infringe on the rights of others. 

It sounds simple but expressing yourself in an appropriate manner is not always easily achieved, and there are many of us who could benefit with a little help. 

Here are some tips to put you on the path to self-awareness.

1.       Assess your current persona.

• Do you tend to shy away from relationships both personal and in the workplace?
• Do you compare yourself to others?
• Do you devalue yourself and your achievements?
• Are you apprehensive about the future?
• Do you focus on what is not working in your life rather than what is?

It may be that you are not confident enough to assert your opinion, however at the other end of the spectrum it may be that you are more than able to express your thoughts, but often find that you have unsettled others in doing so.  Either way by asking yourself a few questions, you are on the way to addressing any issues.

2.       Recognize the differences between where you feel you are at the moment and where you would like to be in the future.

Pitching your assertiveness at appropriate levels is very much a case of modifying your behaviour which has very often been ingrained over many years. 

3.       Get an outsider’s view.  Talk to a trusted friend or relative to find out how you come across to others. 

Talking to someone for 20 minutes a couple of times a week can soon start to reap reward when you realise that you are not alone. 

4.       Begin to focus on how your life will change for the better.

There are many simple steps that you can take which can give you a taster of how much more enjoyable life can be.  Writing a simple list of what you have achieved over recent days will start to give you the confidence to continue your change.

5.       Seek out support.

Speak to a line manager in your workplace who may be able to offer you a mentor to support you. 

There are also many trained professionals who can offer courses and help you implement simple strategies to help you enjoy life more. 

At DY-3Solutions we are currently offering a Workplace and Personal Assertiveness Course.   In becoming more aware of who you are, you will soon start to reap the rewards.  Whether in your personal or work life, the strategies which we can give you will make you justifiably proud of who you are and what you achieve on a daily basis. 

It is a simple step to get on to the assertiveness ladder and we have the tools to help you climb it.  We understand that lack of self-belief and low levels of confidence are not reached over night and equally it takes time and dedication to change your mind set.

We begin with a range of tasks to help you recognize emotions at every level.  You will soon notice that you receive recognition and thanks for your efforts more often than you had imagined.

Contact us on 07984 409937 for further details on the course or to discuss how we can help you.  By making the call you are already on the way to improving your life in the long term.